9 transcriptions of the end of DaThings' "What Sarah Said"
0. Original text
DaThings, "What Sarah Said", 5:17 - 5:43
"What Sarah Said" is a YouTubePoop (YTP). YTP is a distensive video poetry practice similar to cut-ups, blackout poetry, or plunderphonics. YTP involves remixing "found" recorded speech, editing to make it absurd, abrasive, catchy, vulgar, self-satirizing, musical, or otherwise freshly meaningful.
We can use a variety of techniques to transcribe it.
1. Faithfulness to the sentence
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next big-name series that's Harry Potter.
We need; we need; we need--
Keep in mind that Harry Potter was bad.
2. Simple enjambment
we need to
find the next harry potter
we need to
find the next harry potter we need to find
the next harry potter we need to find the
next harry potter we need to find
the next big-name series that's harry potter
we need
we need
we need
Keep in mind
that Harry Potter
was bad.
3. Descriptive response
A woman is ventriloquized, represented by the stitching-together of different parts of her voice. She repeats "We need to find the next Harry Potter."
Her voice is disjoint and urgent. The camera inches closer, and her speech subtly accelerates, repeating "We need to find the next Harry Potter". This continues until (feeling the need to clarify?) she says "We need to find the next big-name series that's Harry Potter." Her voice distends, rising in pitch as she spits "We need-- we need-- we need--".
Then the scene changes to a different polyvocal element of her character, as represented by the camera and her speed of articulation resetting. She says, calmly, "Keep in mind, that Harry Potter-- was bad."
Her mother calls, barely intelligible. She looks almost sheepish; being outed to her audience as a young, naive video essayist is a credibility blow. "Not now, mom," she says. "I'm making a video essay."
4. Thesauric explosion
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
You and I must locate a new Harry Potter.
Our party urgently desires Harry Potter's successor.
Our very nature yearns for an ongoing Harry Potter simulacrum.
Our company goal is to expand into the Harry Potter market.
In our world, a book like Harry Potter necessarily begets more of itself.
To us, rebottling the scar-shaped lightning of Harry Potter is a necessity.
It is because of covetousness that society seeks out continuations of Harry Potter.
Greed, yearning, and endless Harry Potter sequels.
Forever through Harry Potter, that's what I really want.
For our purposes, Harry Potter should be observably deathless.
If only Hermione could reach through the page, time-turner in tow, and transport me to a world of enough stories in the Harry Potter universe to last until the heat death of everything.
They should use AI to make an eighth Harry Potter.
Harry Potter must mitotically self-replicate. This is our mission.
Another one? We're thriving thanks to more Harry Potter!
All that matters is the continued exigence of Harry Potter.
Seductive infinities (read: another fucking Harry Potter) outmuscle even the most clearheaded finities (read: trans people).
new Harry Potter got me soundin like Gollum 🤣 lmaoo
(Ok, but Harry Potter wasn't good,
right, y'all?)
5. Homophonic translation
After the Zukofskys.
Winnie Divine, do nix Harry Potter.
Wean at a vine to nix Harry Potter.
Wee Anita, fine, do nix Harry Potter.
We'd eat a fine to nix Harry Potter!
We'd eat a fine to nix (became serious; that's Harry Potter)!
Winning, winning, winning;
Gaping mine, that Harry Potter, is bad.
6. Computer poetry
from random import random, choice
wordbank = "we need to find the next harry potter".split(" ")
def generate_cloud(num_lines, chars_per_line, glitch_chance = 0.2):
par = ""
for i in range(num_lines * chars_per_line):
if random() < glitch_chance:
par += choice(wordbank)
else:
par += wordbank[i % len(wordbank)]
lines = [par[line * chars_per_line
: (line + 1) * chars_per_line]
for line in range(num_lines)]
return "\n".join(lines)
print(generate_cloud(40, 40))
print("\n".join(
["\n", "Keep in mind", "that Harry Potter", "was bad."]
))
Sample output:
weneedtofindthenextharryweweneedtofindth
enextharrytowepottertofindthenextharrypo
tterweneedtofindthetheharrythewewewefind
thenextharrypotterweneedtofindnextnextne
xtpotterweneedtofindthenextharrypotterwe
needtofindthenextharrypotterharryneedtot
hethenextharrypotterweneedtofindthenexth
arryneedwetofindfindharrynextharrypotter
weneedtotothenextharrypotterfindneedtofi
ndthenextharrypotterweneedtofindthenexth
arrypotterweneedtofindthenextnextpottert
heneedtowethenextharryfindweneedtofindth
enextharrypotterwethetofindthenextharryp
otterweneedtofindneednextharryweweneedto
findthenextharrypotterweneedtofindthenex
tharrypotterweneedtofindthenextharrypott
erweneedneedfindthenextharrypotterweneed
tofindthepotterharrypotternextneedtofind
thenextharrypotterweneedtofindneednextha
rrypotterweneedtothethenextharrythewenee
dtoneedthenextfindweweneedtofindthenexth
arrypotterneedneedtofindthepotterharryha
rrypotterpottertothethenextharrypotterwe
pottertofindthenextharrypotterweneedtofi
ndthenextharrypotterweneedtofindpotterne
xtharrypotterweneedtofindthenextharrypot
terweneedtoneedthenextharrypotterwepotte
rtofindthenextharrypotterweneedtoharryth
enextnextpotterneedneedtofindthenextharr
ypotterneedneedtoharrythenextharrypotter
wefindtofindfindnextharryfindweneedtofin
dtheweharrypotterweneedtonextnextnexthar
rypotterweneedpotterwetheharrytopotterwe
needtofindweneedharrypotterweneedtofindt
heharryharrypotterweneedtothethenextharr
ypotterwewetofindthenextharrypotterwehar
rytofindthenextharrypotterneedneedtofind
theneedharryneedpotterwetofindneednextha
rrypotterpotterneedtofindtheneedharrypot
terweneedtofindthenextharryfindweneedthe
Keep in mind
that Harry Potter
was bad.
7. Logarithmic reduction
(64 words)
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next Harry Potter.
We need to find the next big-name series that's Harry Potter.
We need; we need; we need--
Keep in mind, that Harry Potter was bad.
(Mom, stop! I'm making a video essay.)
(32 words)
We need to find it. We need revolution, we need infinity. We need to find another Harry Potter. We need to--
Keep in mind, that Harry Potter was bad
(that's my take).
(16 words)
We need it
Infinity, universality,
revolution: yet
another Harry Potter
(Wasn't Harry Potter bad? Or what?)
(8 words)
Universal appeal
Found forevers
Eternal Rowling
Right? Right?
Final transcription (4 words)
Rowling exhumed
Corpselike
Right?
8. Geometry-style Construction
Dear reader: May whatever higher powers govern poetry, real or imagined, listen. I, Hy Libre, hereby intend to use mimesis, reason, and fiction to temporarily suspend my identity, as much as possible, in the name of understanding the Other. I ask only to record my desire to do this practice humbly, without grandiose dreams of becoming or understanding the Other, at least not entirely or permanently. May the physics of separation by bodies and particles not unduly restrict me.
Let the first sentence be a call to action. It must have "we" as the subject (in the sense of "you and I and possibly more", to evoke a feeling of the speaker being an affinity-fraudster). Furthermore, let's say it must have "Harry Potter", in the sense of the series, as the last word. This is to shock the reader with the implication of Rowling's influence on the world following from basal capitalism. Let's generate some examples:
"We read Harry Potter."
"Hate thee forever in leatherbound form, we do-- O boisterously calm Harry Potter."
That last one is a bit silly-- not really an affinity fraudster, although it flows in a fun way. What we want is a sentence one might hear from everyday conversation. It should be vernacularly grammatical, follow the cooperative principle, and not make a semantic mess with oxymorons or zeugma or the like.
"We desire the warmth of fire, whether the kindling be logs, niter, or Harry Potter."
"Can we just stop and think about Harry Potter?"
This sentence, like I said, should be in the voice of a sort of charlatan leveraging a neutral everyman demeanor. It follows that it should be in the form of a vernacularly grammatical simple (i.e. neither compound nor complex) sentence, without chiasmus.
"Incidentally we most certainly should respect the world of Harry Potter."
"We reread Harry Potter."
The sentence must be urgent, and this sense of urgency should manifest as a word in a grammatically necessary role in the sentence. Since it can't be the subject, it follows that the main verb should be some sort of modal verb.
"Surely we gotta give it to Harry Potter."
"If we gotta read Rowling, I suppose there's worse than Harry Potter."
To maintain the focus on the otherwise-subtle (and often saccharine) "we", the following word shouldn't distract from it. (An alternative might be using a modifier such as "We, as cohorts" or "People like us, we"; this is too explicit for my tastes.) Constructions such as "We most certainly want" or even "We desire" are out the window; what remains are short, common modal verbs without initial modifiers.
Notice that "we need ..." is unique under these conditions because it has a duplicated vowel. This has an interesting effect (at least to me): it's as if the word "we" hangs in my mind for longer, since its vowel seems to. Let us boldly assume that the verb phrase should be a "need to..." construction.
"Indubitably, we need to destroy Harry Potter."
"We need to find out what's up with this series Harry Potter."
In retrospect, I like "we need" so much that I want it to necessarily be the first words of the sentence. These adverbs and helping verbs are clunky anyway, and distracting from "we".
I also want a sense of Harry Potter's endlessness, like it's forever churning itself out. That's the point. This could mean a verb like "to maintain", or an adjective like "another".
"We need to make another Harry Potter."
"We need endless Harry Potter."
I like the series of stressed vowels in "endless Harry Potter; let's say the word before Harry Potter has to have that "eh" sound. "Endless", though, is too on the nose. The voice should be of a businessman talking down to someone, not self-awarely confirming Das Kapital. There should be some infinitive verb for "need", and it should embody creation while ideally obscuring and naturalizing the process of creation. "We need to make" already does that, of course, through alienation of labor, but I'm after even bigger game.
"We need there to be endless Harry Potter."
"We need our guys to make a new version of the epic Harry Potter."
Hmm. I'm stuck as to how to pick which alienation technique to use. "To be" is pretty good. The reason I like it is because it implies there is no actual process of making, that artifacts spring up from the ground without labor. Verbs of discovery, of existence, of noticing...
"We need to find a gold mine of endless Harry Potter."
"We need to stumble upon something else like Harry Potter.
I prefer "find" in these examples ("stumble upon" discredits the speaker). I'll put a pin in it; let's try to narrow down this last adjective. Thinking of words that imply iteration, endlessness, repetition, exhumation... undead would be good, if our speaker would say that. Endless, next, maybe ordinals like seventieth...
"We need to look for the next Harry Potter."
"We need to buy something big, some sort of gold mine, like a second Harry Potter."
I'm growing attached to the meter in the simpler sentences, so let's try to lock it in; sentence structure will get pretty easy after that. Thus, let's lock in the form
WE-need-to-_-STRESSED-_-EH-_-HAR-ry-POT-ter,
where the "_"s represent zero or more unstressed syllables. We know everything about our stressed syllables now-- so let's do something powerful with that knowledge. Recall that a "spondee" is two stressed syllables in sequence. Notice that we have control over whether we have spondees in the sentence, and if so where they end up.
I'm going to make a leap and claim that if there's exactly one spondee in the sentence, it will divide it in half logically as well as metrically. That sounds awesome, so I think we only want one. With those conditions, there are two cases to think about:
- "We need to [VERB] / [EH words] HAR-ry POT-ter", where the last syllable of VERB and the first of the EH words are stressed.
- "We need to [VERB] [EH words] / HAR-ry POT-ter", where the last of the EH word is stressed, and the VERB and EH word don't form a spondee.
Between the two, I think, there's an obvious winner. "Harry Potter", the phrase we wanted from the beginning to be a bit of a shock, should be its own "section" of the sentence.
"We need to create it again: Harry Potter."
"We need to look for the next Harry Potter."
I like "the next". It really gets at a sense of the speaker having already discarded the last Harry Potter. Let's lock it in. I'd also like the gaps between consecutive stressed syllables to "accelerate". In practice, that means since "WE-need-to" is a dactyl, the verb between it and "the next Harry Potter" should be a single stressed syllable (so that "VERB-the" is a trochee). Of our verbs of discovery or existence that are just one syllable, I like "find" the most.
"We need to find the next Harry Potter."
Thus, we have determined the first sentence. I leave finding constructions for the other sentences in the poem as exercises for the reader.
9. Radical revision
It's wild how they just let you buy a
car, despite the "carbon" and "speeding" and "catalytic converter theft",
just because cars help us live in banality. They're very comfortable.
They make audiobooks for them now. Trigger Warning,
Irreversible Damage, they're called awful things like that.
Harry Potter and a something or another. Although if I made CDs
I'm sure I'd take what I could get,
anything to fill their surprising capacity,
some reason to print colorful art on their front faces.
I think I'd want it more than refrigeration or communism
or even comfort, just the ability to
make CDs, again and again, again and
again, again and again and again and again and again,
until people stopped wanting them forever.
Now, I look down at my body,
at the crease lines born of estradiol,
fully in awe.